Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
