i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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