ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
