he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
