apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
