I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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