ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize