elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
