it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
