So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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