I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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