When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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