she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
