Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
