im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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