thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
