at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
