After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I enjoy the company of your penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
