Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
