nut hugger
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize