You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
