just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
