Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
