I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
