He is an equal opportunity slut.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Sober January is a disaster.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
