You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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