I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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