You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
