Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This is not my ceiling
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
