The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
