i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Mom said you looked used
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
