Pappa wants mamma naked
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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