woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize