look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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