Please, let me fuck your mom
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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