Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
