Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
