i already hear my dad disowning me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think I just sharted jello shots
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
