too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize