Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
