JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
