she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
