while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
