you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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