how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
