So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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