there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
This girl is more easily done than said...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
