honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just saw a hot homeless man
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
