in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
