Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
