Kiss
Puke
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
