just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
