hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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