So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
