All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
