Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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