I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
high people should be assigned attendants
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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