covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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