so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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