What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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