Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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