its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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