Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
