So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it's like iHOP with fire
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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