i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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