I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
