Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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