Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
