Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
