Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Boobs speak an international language.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
